I Love This

I’ve had so much to say, or at least thoughts in my mind, over the last few days. Things that have sounded good; my ego gave them props. However, I didn’t take the time to write them down. I just fed them more movies, books, and music—my steady diet of media that is as habitual as eating bread and coffee for breakfast (or even more so).

As I sit here writing, I found that I enjoy it, however. The act feels soothing, and I feel a world of possibilities opening in my soul. What is this feeling? Can I keep it? Perhaps, if I balance it with other things. I wouldn’t want to get too crazy. Just follow the middle path, they say.

Is my way of doing things and thinking OK? That is the constant question. The question really asks: Am I valuable? At the same time, a drive toward something better and different, more refined, is there, calling me forward. These do not need to be exclusive. In fact, they are complementary.

Lately, I’ve been listening to a Korean (Korean-American) rapper called pH-1. He is groovy and positive. The best part is, he has the word LOVE tattooed over his throat. PERFECT!!! I have half a mind to copy him, but in reality, I don’t like copying people.


pH-1’s Tattoo, a Korean Rapper [Source: @ph1boyyy Twitter]

Here’s a couple of interviews he did that I watched. I really admire his mission of sharing positive messages, because that is my mission as well.


The Father Tree

At the end of January, I went to New Zealand for a meditation tour and the 1st Annual Earth Citizen Peace Festival. As part of the tour, we visited a forest of Kauri trees in the Northland area of the North Island. While the whole forest was amazing—it bathed you in life-enriching energy—the highlight was a tree our Maori guide called the Father of the Forest.

This tree was 2500 years old; it was the oldest tree in the forest. As I gazed at it and connected to its energy, I could feel a connection to the whole forest through its roots. The Father Tree’s energy was not directed toward anything, did not say anything specific, or match any preconception that I had. Standing there, however, I felt at home; it felt right. As Ilchi Lee, who designed the tour, has often said, being in nature, especially in New Zealand, helps us feel our own naturalness. That’s exactly how it was. I fell in love with my own pure nature and the nature of the entire planet.

We only spent a few minutes at the Father Tree, and when we had to go, I didn’t want to leave. I could see myself being the crazy lady people would see sitting at the end of the wooden path leading to the tree, day after day, chanting jibberish sounds of love and life that flowed from my heart.

They dragged me away though, so now I use my memory to remember what I’ve recognized as my core power and purpose. Because of the Father Tree, I can reconnect to that consciousness and energy more easily, and then express those vibrations in my daily life. In the rhythm and flow of those vibrations, my ego becomes weaker. I am faced with the blinding light of truth, and my small concerns don’t matter so much.

While a picture could never fully communicate the energy of this amazing tree that has survived many human generations, I hope you can glimpse a little of it here.

2500 year old Kauri Tree

The Father of the Forest

The Power of Forgiveness

Ever since I became sensitive to energy, I’ve been aware of a blockage in my sacrum/tailbone area. A forward bend with my knees straight is the most difficult stretch for me to do. My bladder meridian, which runs through that area, is also fairly blocked overall.

When I was a member and later an instructor at a Body & Brain Center, this condition got better. I could stretch farther and the blockage felt subtler and deeper. Since I’ve been sitting in an office chair for years, it’s become worse, and I feel it’s responsible for a lot of my emotional and mental angst; it prevents enough energy from circulating up my back to completing its natural cycle.

Because of this, I’ve made it a habit to notice what situations and actions open that blockage. It does open for short periods of time. I’ve found that many things open it, although usually with some effort.

Last night, after some bowing meditation and Brain Wave Vibration, although it was still a little blocked, I really asked myself what was keeping me from being fully connected to the full flow of life energy inside me and through me. Once I asked that, within a few moments, I started spontaneously to forgive. I forgave all of my past actions in this lifetime and any others, I forgave all of the actions of all of the other people on the earth throughout history, and I forgave all of the future actions we might take. I forgave anything that was not from love or produced love in some way, large and small.

After that, my tailbone area not only felt more open, but it felt “healed.” I had a deep sense of overall healing. I felt stronger and more secure in myself as well. Even this morning, even though I haven’t exercised yet, I still feel better—freer, settled, hopeful.

I don’t know how long this state of being will last, but I won’t try to hold onto it. Doing that would only cause stagnation and dwelling on the past. I’ve learned not to chase after particular emotions or situations from my memory.

However, I’ll try to stay in the moment, and remember the lesson of forgiveness. I will probably need to forgive many times in my life.

Forgiveness, like gratitude, doesn’t need a reason. It’s just a part of our true self. So when I forgive or feel grateful, I’m expressing that pure and divine part of me. The more I express it, the more I embody it, and that is real healing and hope.

Let Me Be

strong loveLet me be . . .
even dead,
rather than closed to love.
For love is the only real thing.

This is what came to me so strongly one day. It felt like Truth with a capital “T.” Despite the resounding yes that reverberated through my whole being and the tears that came to my eyes when these thoughts came to me, a week later, in a situation in which my energy was low and I felt beaten and battered, I chose “not love.” I chose to reject and be angry with another, although temporarily. I lived from the many layers that surround my heart, rather than my soul itself. I protected myself and fought to preserve my preconceptions instead of finding a way to express love in that situation.

Words are easy, aren’t they.

Love, caring, peace, softness are often treated as a weakness in our society. They are feminine characteristics that cannot survive in the rough and tumble world. So we present a tough exterior so no one will “take advantage” of us and we can get what we want in life. That’s how you survive, right? Not just individuals, but families, religions, and countries do this as well. We protect our own, and if we leave ourselves vulnerable, we’ll certainly be attacked by someone stronger than us.

For these reasons, I think embodying love requires more strength than acting tough and brandishing a big stick for everyone to see. In order to shine big and bright and clear, love must be strong.

The only real strength that I know of comes from being centered and focused in the moment. What I keep learning over and over is that the only things we really have are our soul and this moment. Everything else is an ephemeral illusion. The only healing and the only creation comes from our soul, which resides in our hearts while we have a body.

So now I’m working on being really strong and being true to the only Truth that I know for sure. Everything else is a game for my growth.

A New Beginning

I opened this blog site to give myself the opportunity to develop confidence in my words.

I keep having the feeling that helpful messages for others are waiting to come through me. However, I haven’t created opportunities for them to do so. I am often sitting behind a computer rather than talking to live human beings. On top of that, I spend a lot of time writing for marketing or writing as another person. When I do talk to other people, I usually discover that the best thing I can do is listen.

So this blog exists so that I can say whatever I want to say, whatever I need to say. It doesn’t have a specific topic yet, although that might develop over time.

I can say that I am interested in energy and what people call “spirituality,” or rather the things we can’t see. I want to be a part of the creation of the world where the unconditional love we all truly are can be fully and freely expressed. This blog is my tool to do that within myself, and hopefully in all of the people who read it.

I hope we can all empower ourselves to co-create it together. So I welcome your thoughts and feedback. However, in that spirit, please understand that any insulting or negative language toward anyone will be removed.