Today I thought, if I died in an hour, what would I regret? The answer that came to mind is that I would regret not listening to the messages I received last Monday morning.

I’ve been doing a daily meditation recommended and designed by my spiritual teacher, Ilchi Lee. It involves bowing meditation, energy meditation with hands, and visualization. I’ve experienced many interesting spiritual and energetic phenomena as I’ve done this training, but what I experienced last Monday was the strongest. Perhaps it was because of the eclipse? (I don’t know much about that kind of thing.)

I had been doing the training with a group of other students of Ilchi Lee, except we didn’t do it together on Sunday. I was very busy that day, got up early, and was very tired. So I went to bed early, but, as I lay there, I kept getting an energetic nudge to do the training. However, all I had looked forward to that day was being alone in my dark bedroom under the covers and deeply relaxing and releasing whatever stagnant energy had begun to circulate in my body. I was stubborn and refused to get up. But I promised myself I would do it in the morning, and I did.

That’s why I did the meditation twice in the same day: once in the morning by myself and once with my usual group in the evening. Monday morning was the first time I had ever done the meditation by myself, uninfluenced by the energy of people around me. Doing meditation or other mind-body training with a group really amps up the energy, and you all affect each other. In this case, it was just me and the spirit world.

I’m not a medium, a psychic, or a channeler, and before I started practicing Ilchi Lee’s Brain Education method, I couldn’t feel energy at all. As my cousin told me once back then: I was blocked. Through the practice, and perhaps from living in Sedona, Arizona for eight years (a spiritual “Mecca”), my ability to sense energy, which everyone naturally has, has opened up and developed. I even started to be able to feel people’s souls or feel the spiritual essence or consciousness of a person, which in Brain Education parlance is called the “spiritual body.”

During one part of this daily meditation, you focus on or “connect with” Ilchi Lee’s spiritual body and communicate with it. This is a very healing experience physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. When I did it last Monday morning, I felt my energy expand and felt that I needed to reach many people. I felt a strong sense of urgency, as if we needed to hurry and time was running out. My fears and ego immediately began to celebrate and run away from this instinct—at the same time. But the next wave of energy washed all that away and I felt balanced with a knowing that it was about service and that I should focus on how I can benefit others.

As I was filled with this, I felt the energy/spiritual body of Archangel Michael, who I have experienced before. He put a sword inside me along my spine. It felt like a sword of protection and courage. Then another sword came vertically into me through my front, and it felt like the sword of Truth. I received the message that I need to visibly share and strongly stand up for Truth, regardless of what other people think, even if I am “stoned” in the process. I need to be on the front lines.

The swords reminded me of my mother. As I wrote in an earlier post on this blog, my mother also gave me messages during the annual memorial ceremony we do on the anniversary of her death. I remembered she said that there is a spiritual war going on. I also remembered that she said that besides Ilchi Lee, I should stick to Jesus. When I remembered that, I felt Jesus’s energy/spiritual body. I have felt him helping and protecting me periodically since I was a kid. His energy enveloped me and I laid down and started to cry. I can’t really describe why anymore, but there was some regret in it.

He reinforced the sense of urgency. I felt, as I have many times, that I needed to write. The problem has been that I never know what to write. But I got the message that I need to sit down and do it every day and I will know. He also said I should share his message and that I should listen to the words of a particular woman I know who teaches about him. I felt strongly that “now is the time.”

I was so affected by his energy and his desire for me to share his message that I became confused because I have been sharing Ilchi Lee’s messages for the last ten years. What does this mean? I wanted to know and I didn’t want to know. The only things I knew for sure were:

1. Everyone’s in a big hurry.
2. I need to write everyday.
3. I need to listen to the messages of this person.

Nevertheless, I was in a state of spiritual confusion, letting the competing information battle silently inside me, until the next evening. During the meditation on Tuesday night, I again connected to the spiritual body of Ilchi Lee, and I received the message, “If you’ve been given a mission, then you should fulfill it.” He washed away all of my confusion, and I felt my consciousness expand and felt deeper love and trust. Rather than this effect being fleeting or ephemeral, it was steady and secure. I stopped worrying and decided to do my best.

However, I have only taken the first step now, on Wednesday night. Pretty slow, huh? During the training tonight, I was again told to get a move on and circulate my energy faster. I was also told to have the energy and consciousness I need to create right now, in this moment. Goals may manifest in the physical world in the future, but, once again, I realized we need to make the internal circumstances for them right now in the present.

Now that I’ve written this, except for saying good-bye to my family, if I tragically die in an hour, I can at least say I don’t have regrets. I listened. I did it. Since I’m unlikely to die in an hour, however, I will have to keep doing that—listening and acting on what I learn.

Ilchi Lee said that he realized after his enlightenment that an enlightenment that you can’t share or transfer to others isn’t real enlightenment. Basically, it’s just nice information in my head. Although these experiences during meditation feel so strong and potent in the moment, if I don’t bring them to life in the physical world—in the way I think and act and in what I accomplish—they won’t be any different than an amazing movie that I watched or a beautiful daydream. What really matters is what I believe and how it affects my actions.

I’d like to note that Ilchi Lee, the man who breathes and eats and speaks, is not responsible in any way for what I wrote here. I hope no one attributes any of my story to him. This all came from my own brain—my own experience. I’m grateful to him for this meditation practice through which I feel renewed and inspired every day.