Talking to Myself

talking to myself

I don’t actually talk to myself . . . out loud, but lately it feels like I am. I wonder if this is how my 70-something-year-old father feels when he is home alone all the time.

But do you ever feel like words are coming out of your mouth, and either no one is paying attention, or, even if it reaches their ears, they don’t really understand what you’re saying? This has been happening to me frequently lately. It’s not just that the reach on our company Facebook page is so small or that no one goes to our website. Even the people closest to me, who are next to me all the time, who supposedly like me, seem to be on a completely different wavelength.

My usual response would be to try to match their wavelength and try to find the gaps in communication and bridge them. But, right now, I’m really not in the mood to do that. Maybe I actually like talking to myself alone, and don’t have any real desire to reach out, but feel like I should? (This blog is perfect for that, hehe.)

I’ve received several messages lately, over and over, to use my voice to spread the kind of brightness and love all the people around me, including Ilchi Lee, are trying to increase on the earth. I’ve accepted that I need to do it, but I’ve only budged a few inches in that direction. In my current state, the energy I would produce is not the right energy; I need to increase my own brightness first.

I’ve realized from all of this that my mindset is not, “what can I give and create for the benefit of others.” If I’m just sitting by myself, doing my own thing, why do other people need to pay attention? If this is the case and this is what I want, then I should just do my thing, and not expect people to flock to me. That is the energy that I’m putting out there, so that’s what I’m getting in return. Energy is always honest.

If I increase my brightness and switch my focus to helping others, perhaps people will come to our website, my book club, our social media pages, etc., and want what we are trying to provide. Maybe if my conviction in this content genuinely benefitting their lives shows through in all the things I do, people will be able to receive what we are offering. Now is the moment to open the straightjacket that feels secure and not withhold what I need to give, for my own sake as well as that of others.

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