I sat a lot today.

I sat until my back was stiff, my shoulders were crooked, and my butt hurt.

And then I did bowing meditation . . . awkwardly . . . using my hands to make sure I didn’t topple over as I went up and down.

So, of course, my back and my butt loosened up. And they complained to me as they did so.

Especially, my tailbone. My tailbone and sacrum always have a lot to say. This time, the stuff that came out were affirmations my subconscious holds onto, though they aren’t necessarily true. It felt really good to say and hear them, however.

So I decided to write out what I remember here, a few hours later, to help shed a little light on them.

Stuff that comes out of your butt should stay out, so maybe if I’m clear on what they are, I can fully release them and not be ruled by them unawares.

As Ilchi Lee likes to say, “Take back your brain.” Or butt in this case I guess.

Some of it was in response to energy I was processing from the people around me. This is how I will take ownership of that response.

• My personality is that I don’t like to beg, so if you don’t like me or need what I have to offer, f*%k you. I can take care of it myself.
• I can do it myself.
• The company vision is meaningless, because it changes at any moment, and it’s rarely achieved. While I can move toward that goal, in the beginning, I can’t see many of the steps needed to get there.
• I need to find my own goal and just stick with it, finding my own way instead of being confused by the flurry of activity around me.
• This is all a game.

Man, I can’t remember much of it anymore. The punchiest words are again lost to my subconscious. I’ll catch them if they ever show themselves again.

This morning when I did bowing meditation on my own, all I could feel was that “only love exists.” I guess a good night’s sleep and personal quiet time was in order 😀

If I could do that every morning, that would be a perfect life.